April 18

Kenleys story

I woke up at 2 am needing to go to the bathroom, went back to bed and two hours later had the same feeling.  At that point I wondered if maybe my water had broke and was leaking slowly.  I decided to wait and see if any thing else would happen and to call my Dr at 8. Kelly left for school at 6 and around 745 my Dr called.  I was originally scheduled to be induced that morning but had cancelled it the day before, and they forgot to let my Dr know. My Dr told me to eat breakfast, go walking and come in to see her at 10:45. I text Kelly to let him know what was going on and he came home to go walking.
At my Dr appt she knew right away that my water had broken and they wheeled me over to the hospital to get registered.We got situated in the delivery room around 11:30, my first nurse was pretty pushy and kept trying to talk me into an epidural and pitocin right away. I didn't want anything I didn't need so I refused and we walked the halls for a bit. I didn't have any really painful contractions until about 2pm. The same nurse kept  constantly saying she wanted to give me pitocin and how I should get an epidural right away, even though the pain was not that bad and I was progressing at a normal rate. 

Around 3 my amazing midwife came in to check on me and see how I was doing, she showed Kelly some things to do to help me deal with the contractions and told me she'd keep an eye on me and come back around 5.
So for the next few hours we hung out, drank smoothies, and Kelly studied for his finals the next week.The My midwife Laura came back around 6, and by then I was dilated to a 6 and having some pretty bad contractions. I still wasn't ready for an epidural and was handling it all ok, she said she was going to go home and come back in a few hours. Around 7, after being dilated to a 7 for a while I decided to get an epidural..mainly because I was nervous for the pain I might feel after delivery. I wasn't against an epidural, I just wanted to decide as things happened. The anesthesiologist Charlie was called  and he came in about 20 minutes. He was super nice and really cool. I asked him to give me a low dose, what they call a walking epidural.The epidural was great, I could still feel and move my legs and could feel the contractions just with less pain. It was around that time we text our parents letting them know if they wanted to come see us at the hospital they could. We just hung out for a while and probably around 10 I started to have horrible pain in my back, it was worse than any contractions I had times 10, and they were really hard to get through. Charlie came back and upped the epidural which helped some
 and then it was go time.
I pushed for 1:45 the first hour was ok then the back pain came back full force. Charlie was called in again and gave me 3 syringes straight into my epidural which should have really made the epidural kick in and stop all and any pain...but it didn't.I could feel everything. Around that time baby's heart rate dropped low for a few minutes and things got a little intense. We found out she was face up and with her heart rate so low the on call Dr was called in.
He was not nice.
He barged in and pretty much told me " we can try forceps to turn the baby, but that doesn't usually work, or c section"
I lost it, and started crying. Not only do I not like this Dr from a past experience but he was really rude to me, and I later found out, my family. He had horrible bedside manner and was not gentle at all.
I chose to try forceps because I really did not want a c section, I wanted to at least try, and at that point I had already been pushing for over an hour and a half.
So he forcefully did what he needed to, got her turned and out with forceps, stitched me up and walked out.
.Luckily I had the most amazing nurses that held my hand and talked me through the whole thing. They really saved me. don't even remember who announced she was a girl. I just remember hearing it said and not hearing her cry and wanting to know if she was ok.
 Kelly got to hold Kenley and I was asked if I wanted to but thought Id better wait until after I was repaired because I was in a ton of pain.
It was so amazing to finally hold her and I fell in love with her instantly.Even though things  were kind of traumatic I wouldn't change what happened at all. I love my midwife and all the nurses and I'm glad that the Dr that ended up delivering her and repairing me was there to get her to us safely.
 I love being  a mom  and getting to stay home with her all day for the next few weeks. I never thought id want to be a stay at home mom but now I cant wait until we can one day make that happen

Kenley Marie

Kenley Marie 

April 19,2014  

12:55am 

6lbs 12 oz 

22" 

Random thoughts: Body image, my parents and becoming a mom

The closer I get to my due date the more I think about how I want to raise my kids and what I want to teach them. Even though I'm nearing the end of pregnancy (11 weeks to go) it still doesn't seem completely real most days. Randomly it will hit me that soon ill have a little one of my own and how different it will be from being around my friends kids, I still haven't quite grasped that fully.
During these last few months and weeks especially as my body has changed the most Ive really thought about body image. I expected to grow a belly, and it was weird at first, but not as weird as I thought it would be. I didn't quite expect to feel like everything is growing. I feel like I'm getting big everywhere and its a not my favorite feeling, but at the same time its completely worth it.
The more I think about it I realize how lucky I am, not only for having a little baby growing inside but I'm also pretty lucky to have an awesome family, parents especially.
Thinking back through my life neither of my parents ever made comments like "your thighs are getting big","oh look at that double chin" or "You really shouldn't eat (insert food here) and you really need to exercise more". Healthy eating was encouraged, we didn't snack endlessly on treats, candy and soda. We rarely had soda in our house, besides special occasions. We snacked on fruit and to this day my dad cuts up apples to snack on when we visit.We played outside, took family bike rides and swam on the swim team. We didn't own gaming systems and would spend hours playing whatever sport or games outside over watching TV.
Now, being older and almost having my own little one I really appreciate the positive outlook I gained through having fun while being active and eating pretty healthy.
Of course we had days of treats, eating mac and cheese, sat around watching TV for too long but we were never put down for it. Never had negative words said to us about it. Never had the ideas of going on a diet put into our heads. I cannot remember one time where a negative comment was made about my body or eating habits that came from my parents, and in my opinion that is how it should be. I didn't grow up with my mom complaining she was fat or that she needed to diet and I don't want to be that mom to my kids either. I really hate when I hear a mom complaining she is fat, especially around her kids. Kids look up to their parents, hear and take in all that they do or say. What are you teaching your child by hating on your body? Its even worse when a parent makes negative comments to their children about their weight or body.  I cant imagine having a parent, who has unconditional love for me, basically tell me I'm fat or that I have gained weight. Yes I think its important to want your children to be healthy but there is such a difference to me, between saying something along the lines of "you're gaining weight, why are you eating that?' and doing things like making healthy meals and encouraging good food and activity choices. I'm pretty positive that if I have gained weight Ill know and won't need any one else bringing it up, unless  I reach out to them for advice.
I really hope my children never feel bad or put down about their bodies because of anything I do or say. Kids grow up with enough body image issues and bad influences that I don't want to ever purposefully add to that.

So pretty much thanks mom and dad for teaching me in positive ways how to take care of my body, stay active and never saying negative things dealing with body or eating.It really matters a lot and I hope that ill be able to have the same influence on my kids.Love you!

The second trimester goes slow...

If I didn't have this big belly I wouldnt even know I was pregnant.  I feel normal and nothing really exciting has happened..at least that's how it feels. 

I have my next dr appt in two weeks and then ill be in my third trimester and going to the dr every 2 weeks. Hopefully seeing the dr twice a month will make time go faster. 

We still dont know what we are having and I'm so excited to be surprised in April.  The only time I really want to find out is when I see all the cute baby clothes, its hard to resist buying them.

My main craving is oranges...and I have a major sweet tooth. Cereal, cookies, ice cream...yum!

25 weeks  & snowboarding with the family

22 or 23 weeks...

16,17,18,19,20

Week 16- I still haven't felt any movement from the baby...hopefully I will soon. Im looking forward to it so this all might feel a little more real. Some pants and skirts don't fit comfortably anymore and I've bought some maternity jeans that I love..and they are cute. I've been lucky and also gotten to borrow some maternity clothes from a friend which is nice. I'm counting down the days until my next appt on Nov 26

18-This was the first time I really felt the baby move this week. Its still not consistent but I've felt it move twice now. Some days I don't feel pregnant at all and my stomach is super flat...other days I have a little bump.

20-I feel the baby move pretty regularly now, not every day but enough so I quit worrying, and Kelly even felt it kick. We had our 20 week ultrasound and it was amazing.My due date got moved up 4 days to April 14, not a huge change. It was so fun to get to see something that resembled a baby and kelly was interested in all the medical terms and  new developments. Last time we saw a picture it didn't look like much but this time it was so cool to see it moving around,kicking and turning like crazy. Since we are keeping the gender a surprise the ultrasound tech asked if we wanted the gender on our video and pictures. We both agreed it would be nice to have for the future baby books and stuff but the only downfall is we cant watch the video or look at any pictures since they have the gender on them. Bummer! But I don't regret it at all...I love knowing we are going to have an awesome surprise in 4 months. Its kind of funny how much our decision to not find out affects other people...some people get pretty opinionated about it  but I wouldn't have it any other way. When else in life do you get a surprise like this?

Oh  and Kelly felt him kick this week too

From now on ive decided to refer to the baby as He, better than calling the baby it. Kelly hopes for a boy so for now thats what we will pretend it is.

April 2014

 Well, we are having a baby!!It was some what unexpected...but we are super excited.

I found out in August, the same day as my sisters wedding reception.

I didnt want to take away from my sisters big day so I didn't even tell Kelly until 2 days later. I had Hersh's help in telling him... 

she loves me

if you cant tell

 12-ish weeks..the first picture I took. I don't think I really looked too different and I definitely didn't look any different with my shirt covering my stomach. I wasn't really sick at all, just tired and nauseous mostly at night.

 13 weeks-Still felt the same. I had a hard time sleeping at night and would wake up feeling sick. Im still pretty lucky I only felt really sick at night so that it didn't affect my work.I cant imagine feeling sick like that all day at work.
I dont crave too much but LOVE lemonade and orange juice. I also hate all meat and the smell of eggs. Yuck.

 14 weeks-right before we went to Oregon and had a wonderful vacation. This is when I started to notice a little bump.

 15 weeks-I had two clients at work say they thought they noticed a bump and asked if I was pregnant. Kind of shocked me since I don't think its that noticeable. Especially with the looser, comfy clothes ive been wearing and loving...but I guess it is?!

 This week I have my 16 week appt and the Dr. (I love my doctor) did an ultrasound. It was nice to finally have Kelly able to come to an appointment and see our little baby. I sent this picture to my family and drew on it so they could better understand what they were looking at. At my next appointment we will have the anatomy scan and get to see a more clear picture and have a longer look at everything. Lets hope this month goes fast.

Oregon and some other stuff

For Kelly's fall break we were able to go to Seaside, OR with his family and stay in their beach house. Usually October is pretty cold there with lots of rain so I was looking forward to cuddling up in big sweaters and comfy clothes. Lucky for us the weather was beautiful and pretty hot which was great.

 Hershal Loved the beach

We did a lot of walking and playing on the beach. Most mornings Kelly went crabbing with his brother, Dad and cousins. It wasn't a successful year for crabbing...

 One of the days we had Kelly's youngest sister take some pictures for us  so we can have some nice pictures besides our wedding and engagement pictures. We of course ending up doing it on the windiest day but they still turned out really good.

Having a little vacation was really nice since we didn't get to do too much in the summer. Kelly's school schedule is really intense and were both trying to work a lot and save money for our baby due in April.